“PAPER DOLL, COME TRY IT ON”

Love vs. Hate:

In October 2010, right before “Dear John” and Speak Now, Katy was still Publicly fending off Taylor Swift’s Threat of casting herself into a forced and false role with John.

Taylor, just out of the public’s purview (who could not see–and did not care to see–the path of the originals Taylor was copying like John’s blogs and my writing), was casting herself in fake roles for marketing that were and are not hers and never were, not even for a split-second. It is a made-up reality for her to which then everyone must comply or be publicly punished.

These lives, biographies, and intellectual properties belong to other humans. These are the actual reasons behind her hard public push of album after album hurriedly released and rereleased, throwing herself movie premieres, during my coming to speak about it openly, to claim “eras” of which each I have exposed as all being fraudulent, and to “regain” copyrights that never belonged to her, not even in their conception.

Just as a simple example, take the plagiarism a kindergarten child could do of John’s “Man on the Side” turned into “Girl at Home,” also lifted from Tom Petty’s lyrics “all the good girls are home with broken hearts” in the song John sings “Free-Falling,” Taylor constantly, publicly tracking John who was kindly guarded trying to get away from her. and so she added Tom Petty’s “American Girl” to her live shows. This was stalking and marketing a relationship that did not happen, as the evidence shows. This page shows over fourteen years of Taylor tracking and immediately repeating John (and me, not a public or marketed persona), a harassment that has not ended.

(The plagiarism has childishly even included copying independent artists off of etsy from 2010 on and selling it as her own ideas.)

to lie about John Mayer is just the biggest, most hurtful, harmful lie of a mountain of lies Taylor has told, including most recently spouting about her “future” and the 2024 Super bowl, wanting her fans to pressure to make it hers in Nashville (over Carrie, Sheryl, Miranda, Wynona, or Faith) so that it and the city will be about herself. Her every move is calculated to be about herself, not in the least about humanity. a 2011 article in the New Yorker shows that it was all already calculated, every move, her family hiring marketers, patterning her after Faith Hill. We must give them this, they were excellent at marketing what the public would buy, and of course that needed a love story. You just can’t do that to John Mayer, the realest thing. He refused her and she forced it anyway. Even her letterhead is a replica of John’s and his personal letters to his fans. This Invasion is shown here now to be in view of what has happened to John that no one cared about buying the lies.

Taylor Swift is marketed as “girlhood” and “girl power” but she has stolen every word (downgraded and sophomorically written) from another female and other artists. Whatever it is made to appear as, for Taylor it is only about Taylor. Even her “charity” choices are mimicked identity and manipulative and invasive.

I

Her “photo-ops” with Harry styles, for example, are an effort to “control” the situation, not because she respects Harry. Harry smiles and walks off with the fame, but with a heart of gold, not as she brutally, unsubstantially does. If he’s going to be used–and she is determined on using everyone–it’s going to be for a much bigger reason than self-aggrandizement and fraudulent album and ticket sales.

As for me personally, I’m done with being the target of her hidden-from-the-public abuse tactics. I stayed quiet for many years for John who was not about to enter into her forced narcissistic hostility, and as she privately attacked me and raided my writing and life replicating it as her own. She recently contacted me on Instagram DM in the narcissistic pattern of a condescending and “authoritative” voice, putting herself into the superior position (as she falsely did with John) stating, “I feel sorry for you. John said . . .” I deleted and did not read anything else. It is an example of another tactic of narcissistic Disorder, as they seek to place their own blackness and shame on others and try to make the victim feel shamed instead of what they are truly guilty of, and, always the agenda: to try to control others and the situation.

one of her current IG accounts is @soultiebreaker, the naming because she perceives herself as having the unrealistic power to come between people. John and I always had bigger causes than some little shit. The young twenty year old guy who wrote “Waiting on the World to Change” and “Belief” isn’t interested in being abused by a narcissist with an endless appetite for fame. There’s so, so much more at stake.

(Yes, it is true no one really wants to hear from the narcissist’s scapegoats when the battle has been so seemingly won for a stance such as music and feminism. It’s just a fact of narcissistic abuse. The scapegoats get silenced in smear campaigns. It happens every day. But what truly is at the core of music and feminine? What actually is at stake? Taylor Swift doesn’t know and she never has.)

I have a gorgeous small life, an unbelievably beautiful bond with John that is filled with his love and kindness, and phenomenal writing that I had to go deep into, and paid the huge price for all of it. I’m finished being the hidden, easy target of her damaged psyche of emptiness, anger, greed, desperation, hate, and jealousy just because I wasn’t public. Abusers rely on keeping things hidden. The hidden is over. I’ve got freedom. There is more and more justice in every moment. I intend to see it all the way through until it is completely known what actually is, already coming all the way through our culture for everyone as people pay with their lives.

And so Here on this page is a rendering of years of covert abuse of what John meant by “Paper doll, come try it on” (even though the original paper doll is not her, it is what she is replicating) about what Taylor was doing in copying and plagiarizing and “Putting on” things that were not hers, as if other people’s lives weren’t real and were play things, including taking characters, clothes, relationships, biographical details, personal stories, Album concepts, Videos, album covers, instagram posts, blogs, private messages, and lyrics, and has done it obsessively in all the years since because the press and public didn’t catch on from the beginning or care to. They believed the innocent white girl shtick that was marketed to them, and then helped her promote her hate to make herself more important, another common mental characteristic of narcissistic disorder. It isn’t new. Homer was singing about in 750 A.D., almost 3000 years ago. He showed where we went wrong in the split between war and the internal, and how to make it right through art. His divine music skeleton key is the most beautiful, astounding thing I’ve ever seen. That’s my joy to write about.

Note: it is taking me a long time to fill in the notes of what is referred to of 14 years of abuse, for example, what I was writing about that Taylor lifted as her own. These renderings show what Taylor immediately copied from John or from me, immediately or over time copying from the source. Dates are given in the articles and Exposé.

The beauty of this precious life demands that I show the false grounds of the ugly because I am the one who can. she tries everyday to put out other people’s lives and feed on them, especially John’s. I want to honor him. I have given everything in standing up for John. I adore him. His music truly is the realest thing and that touches our lives in very real ways. What Dead and Company did is one of the most phenomenal shifts in culture. The brilliance and humanity of those men stand in stark contrast to the dire state of manipulative and lying politics.

Of the many things John and I were sharing in wildly getting to listen to each other in the spring and summer of 2010, I was writing on my tumblr to him about things such as this: My name Shiloh upside down is 407145. It contains many wild alignments, but also both the 4th of July and 7.14 Bastille Day, the Declaration of Independence and the French Revolution for human rights. In this very moment (October 2023 we are once again in a Pluto Return of the Declaration of Independence and the very fabric makeup of what America is and means to the rest of the world).

October 2010: the loving, empowering anthem with the lyrics “Baby, you’re a firework,” released 18 October vs. “I’m shining like fireworks over your sad empty town,” released 25 October on Katy’s birthday because Katy had stood in the way protecting John from Taylor’s taunting and threatening false press.

STORIES TAYLOR SWIFT FED TO THE PRESS 2009-2010 BUT THEN HAD THEM RECENTLY DELETED BECAUSE THEY SHOW JOHN WOULD NEVER HAD HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN MANIPULATOR LIKE HER:

John’s birthday is 16 October. Katy’s is 25 October, the day Taylor personally targeted for the release of Speak Now and “Dear John” because Katy had protected him. Taylor Swift has repeatedly since targeted their birthdates for releases to hit out, ironically finding targets for her victimhood. They just happen to be highly marketable artists who were not for sale to her to deliver to her audience. She took them anyway.

On 17 August 2010, just a month before John’s interview with Mark Hoppus at the end of his Battle Studies Tour when he stated that he needed rid of [Taylor’s, (where she was formulating her “intimate details”)] “portal into his living room” (the internet) and him deleting his Tumblr and Twitter, Taylor had herself photographed in a recording studio–the threat (because John had retreated to the recording studio Electric Lady in NYC in 2010)–appearing in Rolling Stone dressed as John had been dressed inside his apartment in his “Who Says” video, placing herself inside a made up, invasive, threatening personal scenario disguised as professional and as music, in fact, putting herself as if in a physical relationship with John publicly. Katy’s “Firework” single artwork was released as her profile picture on Facebook on 8 October 2010. Taylor then released “Dear John” on Katy’s birthday. “Dear John” had been completely plagiarized from my and John’s writing to each other on-line. (The sources of the lyrics are archived on archive.org.)

My archived website from the time: https://web.archive.org/web/20101226182546/http://thetexasranch.net/

Her condescending “sad, empty town” references my lonely ranch I wrote about on Tumblr in July 2010 which I returned to by myself after leaving New York City, a remarkable difference from being close to John as he left to continue his Battle Studies Tour and then going back to 606 acres with no one around for miles, which I was writing about. John then embraced that same kind of place by moving to Paradise Valley, Montana, also with a dog, my Moon, his Moose, and dressed in almost a flag in red, white, and blue in sweetness of what I had written and in defiance of the lies, personal invasion, and plagiarism, and with Katy showing the truth. This is one reason for Taylor’s continued “4th of July” parties. In “Carolina” (June 2022) Taylor forcibly put herself as if on the cover of John’s Paradise Valley animated in step as a Dead & Company Dancing Bear still trying to place herself physically with John at his home as she did in 2010, with still no respect or personal boundaries, twelve years later, against his will.

She produced Lover (2019) copying his album cover of The Search for Everything (2017) when I proved there was no relationship or boyfriends (2018).

Taylor had essentially thrown a grenade into John’s life because he didn’t want her, a teenager buying and stealing her way into and through music. She thought she could have anything, including humans, artists, and their intellectual property, and still believes it. She thought she could force love with fame. Narcissists believe love is imprisonment, isolating someone, and can be demanded and coerced. Chaotic and “intense” they want you to see as “passionate,” caring a lot, and not abusive. It is a tactic of covering the truth, they encase it in a façade such as “I cared so much,” or “I loved him so much, but he . . .” and then to project their blackness and transgressions onto the victim. With Taylor, slyly encased in the subject line of a “love story” (that never happened) the public buys abuse as love. It is a horrible, horrible thing for people to believe is love. So, so many people are suffering this. It isn’t a joke. It isn’t cute or “successful” for fame.

If you think you are dealing with a true picture of a “person” you’ve been given with Taylor Swift, someone you want to protect, you are not. You are defending and spreading the continued falsely generated hate and manipulation of an abuser. This is an extreme case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it does not operate as reality, reason, or care. It isn’t true. It is an extremely self-centered false front, deception, and public coercion with intent to bring harm and place oneself first and foremost in controlling and dominating every situation into the personal lives of others, using any and everyone, whatever the cost to others. Actually, the more cost for others the “better” for the narcissist because it makes them feel more important, like they’ve done more damage and can’t be ignored. No one matters to the narcissist but themselves. The triangulation with the public against John and the smear campaign continued all these years later to still generate hate is a patterned, abusive narcissistic tactic while still lying publicly that she was ever a “girlfriend” (or of any of the list given as boyfriends), the basis of her marketing, thus still using and benefiting from the publicity as a “personal narrative” that is not true and is harmful. Just because celebrities such as Keith Urban, Reese Witherspoon, and Julia Roberts have to praise and support her publicly (and move forward with opening culture) and so that Taylor cannot claim victimhood, while they actually offering kindness that is not returned as Taylor uses and plagiarizes every word, it does not justify the public falling for thinking it is culturally acceptable. That is living without conscious awareness or empathy—radically important in this moment. This is about personal values and not following mob mentality, the general the case in human history. It’s a case of unawareness and being played and Taylor thinking she’s getting away with it “cunningly” when it actually matches every description provided by decades-long experts such as Dr. Les Carter that people suffer through horribly without awareness or understanding of abuse.

Just recently I wrote another article, what I wrote about in Coyote Weaves a Song (2018), about the members of the Grateful Dead being humble enough to form Dead and Company with John, and that opening the sacred once again as seen through Victor Turner’s The Ritual Process: Structure and Anti-Structure. All my writing is about music’s ability to open for humanity what has been closed.

Taylor, lustful for that next step to make herself “cosmic” or “sacred,” the topic I’ve been writing about for years, her trying to force herself on others as MORE (than what she is already handed under false pretenses), after repeating every step from me, recently took to social media to comment on an account in a presumed self-deprecating way that while the fan sings her songs, “she’s the one screaming” copying John’s self-deprecation when he recently “opened for Ed Sheeran” in Boston and wore a shirt infringing upon FedEx’s obvious trademark with Ed’s name instead, as Taylor does illegally with his trademark for her name to the press’s and public’s blind approval. John is showing the fraud while Taylor is perpetrating it.

Ed recently “balanced the universe” and opened for John in a charity event for the Heart and Armor Foundation in Los Angeles, both wearing matching Spider Man watches for the occasion. There’s a realness there in their friendship that is hugely impactful, not manipulated for a façade for fame and false story.

Her words and actions are not honest or self-effacing as she calculates them to be perceived (and then goes on-line anonymously to further the conjecture herself as she has this entire time). They are a manipulation of plagiarizing and using other people’s work that she has done since the first manipulated steps of her “career” in “music,” which in its dishonesty is not music at all. There are always paid writers, even those paid to stay quiet and let her appear to be the writer. Folklore and Evermore were quickly bought music to go underneath plagiarizing what I was writing in that very moment of the beginning of the pandemic. One may think it doesn’t matter, but narcissistic abuse is at the core of the acculturated and accepted abuse rampant in our lives, to the very structure of relationships. To praise it and lift it to the highest pedestal, what Americans consider fame, and to cover it in the guise of music, of all things which should be from the honest heart and speak to the heart and not to hate, is the emptiness, self-centeredness, and willingness to exploit of a culture. Our personal values are skewed by not understanding. It’s the very basis of how acceptable it is to hurt others in politics, religion, war, money, and to tear down and destroy everything in our paths for self-gain, even the only planet with trees and oceans and wildlife. It is a hugely destructive and hurtful way to exist.

I am the one able to write it because I have lived through every detail of Taylor’s abuse. I experienced it myself personally growing up in my own family, to the very heart and pain of it as a child, and into adulthood, and from that experience have spent countless hours learning the disorder while also keeping towards the flourishing of the beauty inside me so that I could understand why it was the way it was. (Alongside that learning I was also diligently studying and practicing practical Buddhism which shows the “taking care of one’s feelings and emotions” healing process that I needed all my life, finally, gently and lovingly being a mother to myself and my animals which also helped me tremendously in learning how to care for others.) My experience helped me to understand John’s turmoil with his having offered kindness and received the very worst because he was extremely valuable to a perpetrator. For many years it was horribly confusing for me personally to think that kindness should work in those situations. And so I understand people not recognizing it at first and being incredulous. It was a long path for me to understand. I still get shocking personal realizations every day.

I spent a lifetime confused by hurtful behavior from people I thought loved me. It is a horrible, painful process to see what actually happened over time, what the reality was. I always heard my life narrated inside my family that was not true, that turned people against each other and generated judgment and hate, and there was no way to stop my mother and then sister-in-law from doing it. That’s exactly what Taylor did but on the biggest scale she could, and then, as the abuser, wanted credit for it, needing that dominance. Some lost out on the value of who John is and the depth of beauty of his music because of her. That was her intent, to bring down his beauty for herself–she showed that clearly. It’s hard to regret having shown such hope and trust, but now I know how valuable trust and loyalty are, golden qualities to find in a person who also values them, and a gorgeous gift to be able to give and give yourself even in the most challenging times. Trust and faith have to be there. It can’t be erased for us.

I am able to write this now, after all these years, and I will not be silent about abuse that actually goes back millennia. No one should ask me to be silent or need me to be for an “innocent girl” fame façade marketed as girl power. Hate that is shown towards me online is generated from one’s own pain. I do not want that for anyone. (I also can’t give myself that to or respond because of my own trauma I suffered.) Spewing hate at me is just making me the target of your own roots of pain for which I was and am not the deep cause. You knew hate and not compassion before you knew of me. I shouldn’t be your target. Trying to hurt me and lash out at me with that pain and anger won’t heal your anger or make your life better, although for Taylor it makes her more famous. It will keep you generating that emotion and thinking I’m to blame. Please stop and have compassion for yourself and your hate and pain. You probably got it legitimately along the way, but we can’t keep pushing it forward on to each other. There is a process to heal it. It is imperative to wrap awareness around this narcissistic-blind American culture and get to the real, to life itself and culture’s possibilities that affirm, protect, celebrate and heal life. It’s not okay for the press to keep acting like by playing along with the dolling up like a paper doll, as John wrote, in ‘borrowed’ clothing, that Taylor’s false and accusatory front isn’t extremely damaging as an influence leaving us hateful and empty, leaving us greatly lacking in who we are, what we know, and what we value. I write it because no one else can right now, including the press. Taylor Swift is an abuser and our culture’s foundation is abuse going very far back. My heart is filled with the overflowing possibilities of beauty and it always has been.

Joy has to be learned and deliberately nurtured. It isn’t something that is “coming someday when this all works out.” It certainly can’t be gotten by ill means. This is love because we had to give our lives to figuring it out, learning what love is, humor, beauty, trust, healing, and cultivated personal joy and finding that same compassion in the other person.

“Go home [to yourself] and take care of yourself.” Thich Nhat Hahn

Hearing our pain is the path to stopping war. That might not matter to us in America, but the rest of the world is suffering immensely. We have to stand for something.

Here are some wonderful Plum Village Mindfulness Apps for creating internal joy that will help you help the world.

Recommended Meditation on caring for feelings and emotions and coming out joyful (I listen to this one every night): “Taking Care of Anger, Fear, and Helplessness” by Sister Chanh Nghiem

“Sure was fun being good to you”

The turn of the press from John’s long-standing boyish playfulness that was real along with killing it in music, to believing Taylor Swift’s made up story about a relationship with him when, if they had looked, the evidence (and jealousy) pointed very much otherwise, and the public’s very strong willingness to then unload unending hate on John because of it didn’t end with Battle Studies or even the release two years later of Born and Raised, no matter how innovative musically and a clear shift and distance away personally. Taylor, given that mass-flogging public license for more cruelty, was busy copying every single detail of John’s movements and clothing and personal items and references in her own staged paparazzi photos and social media posts as if she owned him and me. Jay Z’s and Katy’s friends, Jake Gyllenhaal and Harry Styles had even stepped in to appease Taylor’s harassment and excessive appetite for a false persona for want of boyfriend fame. Taylor took that publicity eagerly, using everyone involved as if they did not matter, made it also into lies the public believed as reality, but still kept doggedly after John whom she very well knew was in a private relationship with me, and that information (which she found by tracking him on social media) to try to force him to go public, or to stop that path between John and I with her threatening to say he “cheated” with me and making a case publicly that he needed to be a “better man” even though he was not even remotely interested in her romantically at any point in time nor did he ever lead the teenager on which was very evident had one looked. The viciousness and the calculation that the public was feeding on as her victimhood and “young girlhood innocence” ignored such facts as were available in the press as to how she got there and even how she got even proximally close to John.

During all of it, John remained kind and patient, a mistake often made by victims of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

John and I stayed private, but that was too much for Taylor’s appetite for punishment, ownership, and control and to sell with fame. With the abuse, he was hers in the public eye, exactly what she intended with the lie and lifting it from my writing, and “sticking it” to Katy’s protection of him. Narcissists strangely, unreasonably believe they have a right to it and that they are very good at it. Then they twist the message in the projecting back exactly what they’ve done onto the victim: “You Don’t Own Me” when the very act was to own John Mayer who was not ever going to be owned by a conniving, press-hungry teenager.

And so the song “Paper Doll,” which was a reference to my writing to John personal details about how as a child I had a paper fetish, even picking out paper for Christmas and my parents getting called into school for my 1st grade habit of scribbling notes on page after page of ruled paper during class and wadding it up, putting it in the trashcan, subsequently filling the trashcan every day with something that I suppose I desperately needed to write. John had also had the lyrics saying “Half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring” a song to which I had written him about the first line, “I was born into the arms of imaginary friends” and my name being Shiloh like Neil Diamond’s imaginary friend. (Taylor then subsequently publicly named herself after James Taylor and her marketing parents celebrate those self-centered lies with her and the public’s buying of them. To them the lies are successful marketing.)

“You know my paper heart
The one I filled with pencil marks
I think I might have gone and inked you in” from John’s “A Face to Call Home” played live for the first time in December 2010 after the horrible damage of “Dear John” (which Taylor then plagiarized for “I’ve got a blank space, baby, and I’ll write your name” in the on-going harassment). [there is also John’s lyrics, “Excuse me, Mrs. Busy-body, could you pencil me in when you can?”] This is an incredibly special night between John and I. I knew that he loved me. Taylor trying to name herself as that August 2010 to make herself a third party (she was not) is John’s lyric: “I can’t believe a month is all it’s been” from when I was right there in Greenwich Village in July communicating with him back and forth on Twitter from MacDougal Street as he left to continue his Battle Studies Tour. Taylor subsequently forcibly moved to the same neighborhood, then moved to buy closer to John’s home there from 2010, literally buying her way into his neighborhood to still force the relationship.

The “come try it on” was John’s not humiliating Taylor for her lies and harassment, and a kind, gentle way to state that Taylor was invading personal space and details and taking them as her own persona and creative content and presenting herself that way, not once presenting anything original or non-inflammatory for her own self gain. John remained gentle, humorous, and self-deprecating about it in his green-screening in “New Light” and in the you-can’t-actually-force-me-ness of who I am of “Carry Me Away.”

Paradise Valley was a statement of where John was personally, and the act of removing himself from that manipulation, turmoil, and public exacerbation and dedicating himself to the path he wasn’t going to lose to a teenage liar, even when it meant the loneliness of putting off (but staying present and loving every moment) what he had found with me in order to find the best path. Katy then became the bedrock to see that through. “Queen of California” meant that Katy wasn’t staking a claim. Her love was Unconditional.

John’s creation during this time: Paradise Valley: “Wildfire” “Dear Marie” “Waitin’ on the Day” “Paper Doll” “Call Me the Breeze” “Who You Love” “I Will be Found (Lost at Sea)” “Wildfire (Reprise)” “You’re No One ‘Til Someone Lets You Down” “Badge and Gun” “On the Way Home”

“Waitin’ on the Day”

The Story of Us. In 2010 my little niece came into my ranch house and wanted me to read to her a book I had actually made up the words to as I was reading it to her, making it about me and her (it was about Princesses wearing hiking boots). She came in the door from school all excited one day and said, “Read me ‘You and Me the Story’!” I wrote that to John on Tumblr in 2010 while he was on tour and asked him to tell me that story, of how the story of he and I goes. Taylor was plagiarizing every word like a leach, giving herself the role.

Since I was living in the Lincoln National Forest in the Sacramento Mountains on the edge of the Mescalero Apache Reservation in 2013, I started writing about the Spirit Dancers of the ceremonials and the female legend of White Painted Woman with her two sons, like I had my two little boy dogs, my white Bichon Moonbeam, and my little Yorkie Vanilla Custard Pudding, and our hikes there in the woods. Since my brain works in patterns partly because of the HSP, I started decoding the Native American myths and ceremonies and found the utmost beauty. Those articles I wrote privately to John in 2013 became the first chapters of Coyote Weaves a Song: A Mythological Song from the Beginning of Time and to what would become Dead and Company.

This is why DJ David Mueller paid Taylor’s fraudulent sexual groping trial with a Sacajawea coin; the white girl assumed the victim (and fed cupcakes by neighbors) had defrauded the federal justice department and the public while the actual story came from my having my behind groped at a Bob Dylan concert in 2011 on the 50th anniversary of Bob meeting Suze Rotolo in Greenwich Village (where I had been in 2010). Taylor greedily lusted after that “identity,” even the very act of infringement excited her, and for the personal as marketing material, as she still lusts now, no matter how she had to get it, even lying to a federal court.

She took the stand in court to lie because I had written early on about how when I filed for divorce from a brief “marriage” in my 20s (to escape mental abuse) I had represented myself before the judge and got the loveliest reception from him because I had made a mistake and just needed my freedom and self-hood back. He later became a sweet and supportive fan of my directing Chicago at the Opera House in 2011 by his courthouse in Uvalde, Texas. I was telling John a lovely story of taking my life back.

In the opening scene of the independent western movie I made from 2005-2007, while I’m not in most of the movie, I drive up at the beginning in a classic convertible red corvette. John then played Prince songs at his concerts like “Raspberry Beret,” similar to “Little Red Corvette,” after that from Purple Rain. That’s why Taylor dressed in purple for Speak Now, to put herself in the role and make the story about her. On John’s Solo Tour at one show he dressed in a custom made purple suit, like one I had sewn in high school in the ’80s. That’s why she targeted the purple again for the repeat re-release of the lies and role.

Andy Cohen then showed in his book Daddy Diaries a dressed-in-purple reference to illegal fraud.

I had written about how when a brief, bad relationship was breaking up years ago and I couldn’t think of what to say, I just blurted out, “You’re so mean!” And that was it. I couldn’t think of anything else to say and walked off from a diner in Texas. Then Taylor’s video for “Mean” came from making fun of my independent Western and me also wanting to live in New York, a big city. With the fraudulent money she could buy that city and moved to John’s neighborhood there to do so. But John was long gone . . .

As I was writing to John about all my writing I had done, the screenplays, I was writing about a sequel to Breakfast at Tiffany’s entitled Dinner at Tiffany’s (hence Beyonce and Jay-Z having pizza in a taxi for Moon River). Taylor then began adopting that persona and role in NYC.

Audrey would have never thrown herself a movie premiere, presented fraudulent identities, lies, and plagiarism yet again as loud as possible, and made sure there were people there to fawn over her. Instead, Audrey was figuring out what she could do to help the world’s most vulnerable. Is America this vacuous, this valueless, this inept? Does nothing matter to Rolling Stone but fame? That’s a far cry from its beginnings.

In Coyote Weaves a Song (2018) I show how the ancient artists laid the path on how to solve war. That’s what John’s friends are doing and have been doing since the beginning of this, including Beyoncé. That’s why the members of the Grateful Dead stepped in with John, that and leading culture to the actual true core of the feminine. Those guys aren’t dummies for press or fame. That’s why Dead and Company was formed. There is something much, much bigger and more important. Who did you think they were?

Taylor “spoke out about” (feigned a political stance) because in 2018 I compared her to Trump and his ego and everything for war and fame as in Achilles and Helen in the Iliad. Taylor then called herself “Miss Americana” in that instance after my historical journal being from 1957 called BSW Southwestern Americana where I published those details showing what was happening in culture. She does not have a political stance or any insight. she was mimicking Katy. She is as fraudulent for fame as Trump. america was meant to be something better.

When I wrote a scene in the screenplay about meeting the male character in a diner, Taylor immediately released “Begin Again” taking place in a Paris cafe (I had written about how for many years I would go to have coffee at the French cafe La Madeleine and had traveled to Paris and posted pictures in a cafe in a sweater she copied for Folklore) and she using elements of the photography from John’s “Your Body is a Wonderland” video. Other elements she copied for that video were my writing about the screenplay of Sylvia (2003), in which Gwyneth Paltrow rides a bike through Paris. My high school senior English teacher had referred to me as Sylvia because of my poetry. (No one in high school knew what I was going through.) My Tumblr posts included a female standing on top of the buildings in Paris. I often wrote about France and French culture, as I still do, and so she tried to force a role in Les Misérables (2012) then get that director later to repeat a story about her that had actually happened to me on the movie set of Ringer. She tried to pose as knowing French.

She recently (always covered up) referred to me as Bob Lefsetz, the critic who criticized her voice in 2010, but Bob wasn’t her actual target even in 2010, even though everybody in her way of abuse is a target, including Scooter Braun who was very much aware of the fraud and how much money and fame she had already made from it, the copyrights fraudulent. But she could, as a narcissist manipulator, appear as the young girl victim. Separating the masters from her was the legal and right thing to do. They were never hers and she had already earned hundreds of millions from them.

The content, from its origination, was never Taylor’s. It’s all copied like a schoolgirl’s from the next desk from the smarter girl. Cheated. Every detail, even when the public doesn’t know the original source. She’s praised for her never-ending drive for femininity, while vulturing another female for the very lust for being cruel and getting praised for it, which she considers “winning.”

In my screenplay Apocalypse of the Heart that I was writing in 2010, the granddaughter born with wings goes to live with her grandmother in Mexico to hide her wings. (I lived on the Texas/Mexico border in 2000-2001 and later made the video/short film in San Miguel and Acuna, Mexico.) I had also shared with John my dad’s Christian album from 1973, and my dad’s voice is operatic. Taylor then told the public she had an opera singer grandmother who sang in Mexico.

When Taylor Swift came out with the “Reputation” sales and marketing pitch no one knew where the immediately gained content was coming from. She had “disappeared” for several weeks to act like it was a deep-dive of personal insight, the way that I have lived here in “exile” in New Mexico for many years, when actually she was battling me technologically with having hired hackers who even emptied my bank account as retaliation. In July 2017 I registered the copyrights on manuscripts I was planning on self-publishing. Taylor was intensely tracking every move I made for several reasons. For one, I could and was moving to expose her lies and plagiarism from all her years in “music.” So upon this copyright registration, which becomes public record even without publishing and of the books which contained the evidence at the time of what she had copied beginning in 2010, every move she had copied, within days of that registration she wiped clean her social media. (John’s profile photo had been half of his face and for all that time she had kept hers as half of her face.) The snake images she appropriated for marketing came from me writing about Knossos Crete Snake Goddesses, the history and artwork of Adam and Eve mythology, and about the ancient goddess Asherah, things she would know nothing about on her own and without any education. This marketing occurred from spyware on different phone calls between me and my mother and father. A pattern of narcissistic disorder is to by intimidation work to keep a person silent. Her stealing content was a criminal pattern evident from the first moment of her marketed to fame.

Taylor’s statement of “wishing to be left out of this narrative” or “there will be no explanation, there will only be reputation” (Homer keeps what he says inside the artwork, which she also replicated from John) she paraphrased from my words for Reputation (the title taken from my words about an important topic in epic poet Homer’s conveyance about repetition in repeating rumors or the very different repetition of art carrying eternal truths and immediately regenerated in recognition of the listener upon its being “repeated.” Taylor lifted this from an intense phone conversation I had with my mother of a life-long situation within my own family of my mother’s narcissistic personality disorder and me asking my mother to stop falsely narrating my existence with untrue, skewed statements to suit her narrative meant to triangulate family members against each other (like telling my brother I wanted rid of him), which was leading people, even within my own family, to believe statements about me that were not true but that I had heard her repeat my whole life so that “I was the problem,” with my mother’s ills instead projected onto me. An example is that my mother always thought she was too good for my father and often made him feel inferior intellectually. She would then my whole life accuse me of “thinking I was too good” and told my brother and father that without end. It led me in my 20s into a horrible relationship with one of her chosen stragglers she had exalted over us (she was a foster child and was always trying to save someone as better than us because they didn’t have homes, as we were too privileged even though we were actually very poor and struggled for love), and me crashing into horrible relationships, trying to find a buffer, and trying to prove her shaming of me wrong. It was horribly confusing as a child, even as an adult, when the thought of being “better” never crossed my mind. I gave in to the shame by trying to prove it wrong. I just knew how hard I tried and how capable I was and I compromised that to my own detriment. (In narcissism this is the “scapegoat” as opposed to the “golden child,” my brother, who believes the manipulation as reality.) In the phone conversation that Taylor lifted I was giving the example of Homer from what I had written in Coyote Weaves a Song at the time. It was an in-depth conversation about why my mother shouldn’t narrate my life making me always look bad when my intentions were never what she stated and she could not know my intentions. But projecting that shame onto me from childhood did its serious damage. That summer of the phone conversation I was still trying with her, and I did not yet realize that one cannot reason with the personality disorder that seeks to triangulate family members to make the person doing this more central and special, the center, and that no amount of reason or pleading is going to get that person to stop. It is a pattern fully in place, even though it isn’t reality and we all dearly loved my mother which she did not need to manipulate. It was in place before I was even born. I knew my mom to talk bad about each one of to the other in private and tell horrible things. It escalated exponentially when she brought in a like-minded person for my brother to marry and they could generate hate about me together. The hate escalated exponentially with two narcissist abusers in the family and I was the target because of my mother. That is the moment I had leapt legally into the very wrong relationship for me going very much against my own inner voice that wanted to run. What Taylor overheard in having the cell phone hacked was my beginning to take a stand against this life-long narcissistic disorder abuse. She was also claiming John’s public humiliation as her own, making herself imaginarily the victim of her own perpetrated crime. Being an abuser herself, the phone conversation was clearly material she loved (and me wanting my mother to stop) and within months had packaged and shoved it to the public making it, of course, about herself and making herself once again, the victim while stealing my words, history, and passions. This is one example of phone calls of which with Taylor’s taunting, invasion, and theft, I had to keep recordings and change my phone number continuously.

At no point in time or space was there ever a “love story” or “kiss” or “romance” that she tries to use to package these crimes into marketing to make them somehow okay or true. It is utter and outright criminal and fraudulent from the beginning and an abuse of human beings, most centrally, using John Mayer’s personhood and career to incorporate into the criminal and fraudulent marketing by lying about not only a relationship that never even came close to happening, but by also making John the “criminal” who had done some violation of a minor–in order to shame and put out his shining light and his ability to ever be believed. And then, true to narcissistic behavior, claiming that her masters had been stolen and carrying out a crusade for it mimicking “it’s for artists” which my work actually is. It’s a very nasty and ugly personality disorder but it all operates the same. That it came out so strongly in music by leeching onto other musicians and copying every step (I would say breath, but she doesn’t breathe) and becoming cultural influential with those intense lack of values is criminal on the levels of Donald Trump who also, evidently, has property fraudulently in New York City and tried to buy himself next door to Tiffany’s.

Beyond me moving to publishing my own work and to expose her, my being a hidden threat to her, the second level of the narcissistic disorder pattern is to triangulate (in this case with the press and her fans) and if that person tries to speak, to “make them look crazy” (my mother would say, “You’re completely nuts”) while also claiming to be the victim of the very trespass they are enacting (hence the inane lyrics “they’ll tell you I’m insane” in order to ward off being found out. All along she was repeatedly saying in public things about people believing her (especially after the fraudulent sexual groping case), proud to have made the lies work, and mentioned people not speaking because they would not be believed–the enforcement of the abuse. No one recognized what she was actually saying and doing while they cheered her “successes” of being erroneously believed.

Another part of the narcissist disorder’s patterns is to try to maintain complete control and furthermore, domination over the victims. She was trying to enforce this with both John and with me. That effort later in “Folklore” (I used to teach college folklore and she was replicating the titles and covers of my books) to make it a legitimate threesome relationship which was not legitimate or even existent whatsoever. She wanted any identity of the “love story.” That making a storyline of John in that scenario is taken from my writing about the 1950s and 60s and Bob Dylan’s making of Renaldo and Clara that I wrote about in Spring 2020 on-line (and documented with her responses) and she making up names of players in relationships that never happened and were never going to happen.

It is all very creepy.

And so by repeating every step and word I took that she could get her hands on through criminal methods, if I ever spoke, because she had gone to such extreme lengths, it would make me look insane to claim she had copied every word and step from me. It was control over the intellectual property as well as biographical information as abuse and demonstrating that she had the power and money to violate inviolate boundaries and was intent on doing so, feeding on it incessantly and living off the vigor of cruelty masquerading as passion. It was, in fact, very much insane and desperate. When one knows the narcissistic disorder patterns, one can then remove the personal and look at the situational patterns that exactly match the manipulative patterns known to experts on the abusive disorder. And so in the summer of July 2017 I had already had my phone hacked with spyware and many of my conversations and texts repeated publicly as Taylor’s own. In one case my mother went into the hospital and I had text messages about it on my phone, as soon as that phone was hacked several months later, Taylor immediately went public with a statement that her mom was sick with cancer, and then later with a brain tumor. My mother had a pearl lodged into her head from a fall of which she texted me a pretty horrific picture. It accomplished not only control, the ability to lie and be believed, but also was letting me know she had the private phone conversations.

Another intense conversation she lifted from between me and my dad. My dad was a Methodist minister and had studied the Hebrew bible extensively for decades. In my writing Coyote in my research I had discovered the etymological connection between my name Shiloh in Genesis and the goddess Asherah, which is also connected to Eve through known epithets. I was excited to tell him this discovery, maybe some kind of bridge of communication, and instead he took it very badly and we had a rough conversation. He repeated my mother’s lies about me saying I had to make everything about myself, which was far from what I was actually trying to accomplish. Because he had been triangulated by my mother my whole life to believe that I was self-centered (I was crushed as a child to be self-effacing by my parents and by religion) he took the conversation the wrong way of me trying to make a connection with him with the bible. And so Taylor Swift immediately tried to identify herself with Eve, picking up a man to play the role of “boyfriend” named Adam. It was all very, very sick. I recorded most all of my phone conversations as evidence because I knew what Taylor was doing. I do intend to release them as evidence when necessary, especially if it becomes a criminal indictment. My dad’s life was ended not long after.

My master’s degree thesis was a screenplay based on Edgar Allan Poe’s life mixed with his “A Tell-Tale Heart.” Taylor presented that as her headline for a magazine article when I wrote about it to John, and used Edgar Allan Poe as the basis for a performance at an awards show at the time, with the flags from Liberty Leading the People painting that I had loved at the time in French and historical paintings, trying to make herself literary even early on, after copying Hemingway from me and repeating the same instance again from The Sun Also Rises “Isn’t it pretty to think so” from what I wrote to John. Not one ounce of material came from her own mind or origination except paying others to help her shape it to the abuse musically.

These were the things that were happening as people celebrated her hate and participated in it at her instigation. I can’t believe the public willingly paid money for it again as she falsely slammed John again twelve years later over what had never happened and was stolen and packaged from lies and manipulation of opinion, that they have given billions of dollars to see her in concert based on that she had “boyfriends” she never had and works she never wrote. There is no beauty, only control. Whatever she did contribute to make the plagiarism and abuse, it is frankly inept and unskillful, a far cry from the originals like John’s first intimate, personal, vulnerable songs that broke through worlds for us collectively in sweetness and realness. I’ll stand by that beauty to my dying day.

I wrote to John about the mythology behind his friend Eric Clapton’s “Layla” and John wrote about Joni’s album “Blue,” personas and material that Taylor then immediately proceeded to take on on the covers of magazines and in albums, to Joni Mitchell’s disapproval. I’ve written before in detail about she doing the same thing in copying John on his talking about Stevie Nicks. That was the first basis of the settlement for “Shake it Off’s” plagiarism: she had established a pattern of plagiarizing anything John said, and John had tweeted about the lyrics “Players gonna play, haters gonna hate” and the rest of it, “shake it off” repeated, came from John’s “Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey/Wake up, shake it off, and repeat.” She was still lecherously on his trail personally and for material to sell and with which to continue to offend, what narcissists want the power to do and to keep the victim there. She considers that “power.” John’s intentions in not exposing her were always to take the music so much further, and of course, to heal himself and others.

When my dad passed in January 2019 he was wrapped in my fleece blanket in a green burial (without a coffin) on our ranch, his beloved place. I streamed it on Periscope for his brothers and sisters who were very far away. Taylor immediately appeared in public wearing a fleece-lined jacket and smiling. She had done the same kind of public act when my Bichon Frise Moonbeam passed in September 2015, immediately appearing with a huge cut-out of her matching white cat she had gotten to replicate him.